"Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care, kindness, understanding, and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again."
These last few weeks have been a challenge trying to find the time to balance school, studying, sleep, eating, and CCE. Everyday I get home I'm dead tired, but at the same time I take pride in the fact that I'm helping people everyday in some way. Clinicals has been such a new/exciting/scary experience for me and even though it's exhausting, I love the feeling I get everytime I leave the hospital. I think that getting assigned to St. John's Health Center is a blessing in disguise. On the side of the hospital is a cross that extends across part of the front,which constantly reminds me that this is His plan for me. I am stationed in the Oncology department for the first part of the semester and it's not a happy place to be. It's emotionally draining for me personally because it's hard watching people suffer from their condition, knowing that I can't remove it or fix it. But the small things that I CAN do are what matters to me the most. Of course I care about understanding the science behind certain diseases and how to treat them. The science behind it all is definitely important, but I realized that my primary concern is usually making a patient feel comfortable and just getting them to open up in conversation. I like having that one-on-one interaction with people. No, I may not be able to heal them completely, but I'm there saying prayers for them in my head. And looking into their eyes sometimes just leaves me speechless because I see so much fear and pain. But despite that, I still see Him through all of the suffering. I see hope.
What have I personally learned so far? Don't try to rush my life. I'll have plenty of time to be a "grown-up." Enjoy the things that make me happy while I can because I never know when the unfortunate can happen.
