Believe in the power of prayer, and you can get through anything.
I haven't realized how long its been since my last post! This semester has been a whirlwind. I never knew how many assignments I could get done within the span of a week. Butttt, good news is, half of the semester is over and I am slowly inching my way to Senior Year of Nursing School :)
These past three years getting settled at the Mount has been quite the journey. And although I'm SUPER excited that my last year of school is approaching, it's also bittersweet. College is what I've known for the past five years. Just thinking about the possibility of having a "REAL JOB" by next year kind of (REALLY) freaks me out.
But Junior Year is the year that is really pushing some buttons. The Jr. Faculty wasn't joking when they said they were going to "push us" and damn its been tough trying to push back. My clinical instructor for Adv. Med Surg is particularly my kryptonite this semester. He expects a lot from his students, to the point where he doesn't allow us to rely on the other RNs for information or guidance. He looks at us as if we ARE nurses and wants us to seek information ourself and learn from our (many) mistakes. I'm stressed out everytime I walk out of clinical, but at the same time, I know he's helping us to grow. He wants to know that we're going to "Be Okay," after we're done with this particular rotation. My confidence has boosted after these past few weeks alone. I told myself to be proactive and I'm doing my best to keep that resolution!
I am really hoping for just one thing right now; something I pray for constantly. It's the biggest hope and dream I've let myself had in my whole life. I've talked down to myself for too long, I've talked myself out of going after certain opportunities because I felt like I wasn't qualified, I've seen myself lurking in the shadows of others' success... but now, this is MY TIME. I've wasted so much time fearing rejection. I just need to know that I'm trying for something, anything, beyond what I think I'm capable of. I deserve it and I am worthy.
With every new step I take, I feel like my life gets better. I was scared to join PACN E-board because I didn't think I was good enough, but now that practices have started and I see people coming out to learn my dances, it feels pretty damn good. And not to mention, I'm having a lot of fun. Although this year has been a really big bitch, it has been the best one yet, hands down. I only hope it gets better from here. I'm thankful for all of the challenges I've had to face in this school year alone and I am hoping that my prayers will be answered. But for right now, I just want to say how grateful I am for everything that I take for granted; my education, family, friends. Having good support, people in your life who constantly believe in you, and people who make you laugh everyday is definitely a blessing. Thanking God for every single chance I get to be His servant.
"May you always experience the joy that comes from putting Christ at the centre of your lives."-Pope Benedict XVI
