Dug my way out, blood and fire.
Bad decisions, that's alright.
Welcome to my silly life.
Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood.
Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down.
Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated.
Look, I'm still around." - Pink
God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. At the beginning of Spring semester, I made a promise to work harder than Fall semester, and I did. My initial GPA goal was to pass the 3.5 mark and even that seemed like a stretch for me, but I pushed myself to study long hours and to memorize/analyze/comprehend as much as I could before each exam. It was definitely exhausting at times, but I prayed every morning when I woke up, took time to pray the rosary during the day, and prayed every night before I went to sleep.
There is NO DOUBT in my mind that He helped me every step of the way to achieve one of the greatest achievements as an undergraduate, getting straight As. Honestly, I didn't think that I was capable of this because I've led myself to believe that I am average. But I guess this is God's way of telling me to never give up, to never lose hope, and to believe in the power of faith. He didn't let me settle for doubt, instead He lifted me up in order to prove myself wrong. After everything I've been through, it was humbling to see the results of my hard work. It nearly brought me to tears because all I wanted was a moment of clarity, and I got that. That made me so happy and I owe it all to Him. Now all I have to do is wait for that letter in the mail that I should be receiving within the next 4 weeks or so. Just thinking about it makes my heart race, but I am confident that whatever happens is going to be His will.
My Summer has been relaxing so far. Being able to spend quality time with my friends and family without having to worry about schoolwork or upcoming exams is really nice. My family had our house blessing, house warming party, and Lady of Fatima prayer this past weekend and it was madness because there were so many people scattered throughout our kitchen and living room! But our house blessing was different this time because we let everyone hold candles while the priest went from room to room. When we went outside, I thought that the wind had blown out my flame since I couldn't see it, but when I stepped back inside the house, it looked as if the flame had re-lit on its own. It freaked me out for awhile, but then I realized that the brightness from the sun hid the flame against the white candle. That was symbolic to me because He is there, regardless if you see His light or not.
This Summer, one of my goals is to finish some leisure books that have been on my desk for years now. I recently finished "Unaccustomed Earth," which is a bunch of fictional mini-stories that I really enjoyed. It must have taken me over 2 years to complete it because I only had the chance to read it over breaks and the little free time I've had. As of right now, I just started Anthony DeStefano's "Ten Prayers God Always Says Yes To." It's a book that my brother lent to me awhile back and I'm liking it so far. He offers insight into God's plan for us and gives the reader some simple prayers to say everyday. I just finished the "God, get me through this suffering" chapter and it's one of my favorites so far. A quote I bookmarked is, "When you say to God, "Get me through this suffering," He will actually take you by the hand and lead you through your pain. No matter what the crisis, He's willing to walk right through the fire with you, and make sure that you get to the other side without being engulfed and consumed in flames. Even if your agony is so great you almost feel as though you're going to die if the pain doesn't subside-God will help you. He'll come and find you, lift you up by the arms, and carry you out of the darkness."
I absolutely love that quote. It's just something to always keep in mind, especially in the future. I know there isn't going to be smooth sailing from here on out. Looking back on my hardships, there have been times when I believed God had left me to fight for myself. But DeStefano's words inspired me to believe otherwise. If He has gotten me this far, then I know that He will get me through what lies ahead. Thankfully as of right now I am far away from suffering and I actually have every reason to be smiling. I've got a couple of great things to look forward to within the next few weeks and I'm excited to spend time with some of my favorite people. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good.
