"Yet even now, says the Lord,
Return to me with all your heart,
With fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
Rend your hearts and not your clothing.
Return to the Lord, your God,
for he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love,
and relents from punishing.
Who knows whether he will not turn and relent,
and leave a blessing behind him,
a grain-offering and a drink-offering
for the Lord, your God?"
"We are at that time of the year when we are invited to test our inner freedom and to question the notion: I can take it, or leave it."
And what is it that I need to take and leave? I came across a Christian station on the radio the other day and the topic was "Hunger." The pastor was talking about how we eat 2-3 times daily without having to be reminded, but we seldom feed our spiritual hunger. I really felt that this talk related with this Lenten season and that's when I developed my "spiritual menu" for Lent. I really wanted to make a mix of "taking away" and "adding" to my everyday routine and this is what I came up with:
1) Pray the Rosary every weekday on the car ride to school and make time on the weekends too. *Because everyday should start with prayer and I need to be reminded of all my blessings instead of stressing over an exam, presentation, or quiz for the day ahead.
2) No alcohol, fast food, or sweets (cookies, cake, cupcakes, ice cream, Filipino desserts). *Because I need to practice my self-control and take a step back from bad habits that lead to unhealthy decisions and just being unhealthy in general.
3) Have a better/more positive attitude. *Because complaining or being upset prevents me from focusing on the GOOD and negatively alters the way I see myself and how I treat others. Grow from bad experiences, everything happens for a reason.
4) Look for ways to do more random acts of kindness. *Because other people have needs too. I'm not the only one who needs help or prayers. You never know what one simple gesture can do.
And THIS is my Lenten promise. No excuses, I will hold myself accountable to do all of these things. Making these next few weeks count by growing in faith, day by day.
This week hasn't been the best. I didn't pass my first Nursing skills competency exam and it made my heart drop. I was too pre-occupied with preparing for my Health Policy Exam, that I failed to study more about IV's. I'm usually hard on myself about these kinds of things, but when I got the bad news in a phone call, I remembered my Lenten promise. Failure is going to be hard to avoid in the nursing program and I need to accept that. I just need to work harder. But, thankfully my ATD Big consoled me afterwards because it's always nice having someone there who understands what you're going through. Ended today with a charity walk with ATD and my love is continuing to grow for this fraternity. Keeping my head up and gonna find more ways to stay strong!
