Success isn't measured through monetary gain.
That job just wasn't for me.
Last week was crazy. I had training for the new job I was just hired for. I went Thursday & Friday, 5 hours each day. I learned about CUTCO, cutlery, other company's knives, how to effectively sell a product, how to make more money, how this job made A LOT of money. Sure, I was attracted to the idea at first. But during training, there was this uneasiness I felt about being part of this company. The manager just kept talking about sales and money...money money money. I just got sick of it after awhile. I wanted to back out and just quit, but I also wanted to stick with it since I got hired. You need a starter knife kit to begin selling for CUTCO and it was more than $100. I obviously didn't have all of the money, so I asked my parents if they could pay for some of it and they clearly said NO.
I was hurt by their decision and really pissed off too. How could they not support me and my first job? They didn't even congratulate me when I told them I was hired. Couldn't they have atleast pretended to be happy for me? Didn't they see that this job was important to me? No, they didn't. Even though I wasn't exactly too happy about this job either, their support would have mattered to me. It's just frustrating to know that your OWN PARENTS don't support a certain decision you make. That is the WORST feeling in the world. I remember back in high school when I was with Dance Live. I LOVED dancing for that team...it was probably one of the BEST experiences of my life. That team made me fall in love with the art of hip hop. I danced with the team for three whole years. How many performances did my parents attend? Two. My first one and another time when we performed for a conference.
I just wish they could have seen how happy I was with this team. How hip hop fueled my soul. They just didn't understand it. My mom at one point told me to quit and learn a different kind of dance instead...waltz, ballroom, salsa. Of course I would love to learn these different dances too, but at the time, hip hop was my passion. I loved it sooo much. Now that I'm not part of a hip hop dance team I can honestly say a part of me is lost. Joining Dance Live filled that void in my heart that was missing for too long, yet my parents didn't fully support my dancing. So it seems that my parents have started a trend for not supporting extra curricular activities that are important to me. Way to breakdown my self confidence...
Don't get me wrong, I love my parents...I just wish that sometimes they could show me that they are proud of me you know? I had to quit my job with CUTCO. It sucks because I was looking forward to it, but maybe it's for the best? I cried that night when I knew I had to quit because I didn't have the money. But it wasn't just because of that. I missed out on Joanna's birthday trip to Six Flags for the training. No, I didn't cry because I didn't get to go to six flags. I cried because I missed out on a chance to be with my friends. I miss them. Being at home is great, but not seeing them is hard sometimes. I trained for a job that I had to quit. I missed out on having fun with my friends. I was stressed out.
So I read, listened to music, and prayed to get myself back on my feet. I just felt horrible about the whole situation...now that summer school has started, it keeps me busy, so I don't have to think about last week. I guess I just have to listen to my heart and try to figure out what is best for me...
"You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow." - Paulo Coelho "The Alchemist"
