"You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage- pleasantly, smilingly, non-apologetically- to say 'no' to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger 'yes' burning inside. The enemy of the 'best' is often the 'good.' -Stephen Cove
Its been over a month since I've last blogged, so all I can say is that July was an AMAZING month. It kept me so busy that I didn't have time to document everything. But its been such an exciting/stressful/crazy last couple of weeks and I'm enjoying every single minute of it.
First things first, my 21st Birthday in Vegas was SOO much more that I could have asked for. I got to spend the weekend with THE MOST amazing group of friends and they definitely made my birthday memorable and enjoyable. I don't think any Vegas trip could top my 21st because it was the most fun I've had in a reaaaally long time. My brother and sister in law surprised me with a party bus for my 20+ person birthday entourage and it was a blast. That was probably my favorite part of the weekend because I've always wanted to experience a party bus haha. Clubbing at the rooftop of the Palms was awesome too! The view of Vegas from that nightclub was spectacular and everyone had a great time that night. Being reunited with friends from UCI was also a plus, but taking shots with them after having the strongest Fat Tuesday you could possibly get was not the best idea >_< haha. Other than that, I'm so happy that those who came to Vegas took the time out of their schedules to celebrate with me. It meant the world to me and I couldn't be more thankful.
Aside from the fun stuff, I've been scrambling to get everything in line before school starts. I've completed my first course towards my minor and finally submitted my nursing health requirements. I've moved out of my apartment in Brentwood into a house in Baldwin Hills. I was accepted into the UCLA Care Extender Internship Program and recently just finished all the pre-requirements before orientation this Sunday. And of course I'm still making the rest of my Summer count by exploring more food places in LA and hanging out with my favorite people.
I know I'm going to have a lot on my plate this upcoming Fall. But nonetheless, I feel like I've gotten my priorities straight. I love the quote at the beginning of this post because I feel like I've been courageous enough to push myself to another level. I really want this year to be about hands-on learning. I personally wanted to do the CCE program because I know it's going to be a great experience outside of mandatory clinicals. I want to make sure that I actively participate in the training process of becoming a nurse because I want to be the best that I can be. And to do this, I know I'm going to have to say 'no' to other things because my heart is telling me 'YES.' Yes, I can be successful. Yes, I can overcome my past insecurities. Yes, I can be open to new things. My 'yes' is going to be that spark to keep me motivated and I won't let anyone get in the way of what I set out to do. I don't want to worry about what other people think about my plans. I just gotta 'do me.'
As far as 'other people' & friendships, I need to stop worrying about who my 'true friends' are. I think its been pretty clear lately about who is willing to stay in touch and make the effort to schedule a lunch or dinner date. To be honest, some people have surprised me and I feel like I'm getting the chance to grow closer to them. On the other hand, I've been disappointed in others. It's tiring to always be the one who schedules hangouts while it feels like the other end doesn't try. So I've decided that I'm done with that. I want to feel appreciated. No, I don't need you to call me everyday and tell me that you miss me, but I would like to know that you still care. Sometimes I question it and I don't think I should have to question anymore. Although MANY people see me as the 'tough one,' I honestly think that I'm too nice sometimes. I let people say what they want out of respect and I rarely confront them if I have something to say back.
What I'm trying to say is, actions speak louder than words. When you told me that you'd be here for me, I believed you. But where have you been this past year? I feel like we're slowly growing apart and it's getting more difficult to make up for lost times. I miss what we used to have, but at the same time, I owe it to myself to move on. I can't keep holding onto you anymore. Like I said earlier, I need to get my priorities straight and say 'no' to other things. So if you don't see me for awhile, you'll know why.
