"There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure." -Paulo Coelho
Officially one more month of the semester left and I'm happy to see what I've achieved so far. I've never studied this hard or been so stressed out ever since I started college. Nursing school really isn't for everyone and I really get annoyed at the people who underestimate this major. "Oh, nursing, well that's easy. You just have to memorize a bunch of stuff." Well no, not really and to be honest, that was my take of nursing when I firs started too. But I've learned that it takes a ridiculous amount of dedication and effort. It's not extremely hard either, but having clinical along with regular classes and mini hospital skill training sessions with quizzes and tests in between can be overwhelming. It's not just about memorizing material, there's a conceptual framework that always needs to be taken into account, critical thinking especially. Nursing is definitely not something that should be taken lightly and I'm doing my absolute best to make sure that I'm learning as much as I can.
I made my first mistake in clinical today and as much as I want to not mention it, I think that it's kind of a relief at the same time. I knew that I'd have to make a mistake sooner or later, because let's face it, there is NO such thing as a perfect nurse. Things get so rushed in the hospital and sometimes I forget to really analyze what I have permission to do. I try to help whenever there's a possibility, but I just need to remember that there are rules to follow closely. My judgment was off and now I know to never do that again. The fear of failure is still hovering over me though. Just thinking about what I had to go through before makes me work 10x harder now. I feel like maybe I take it TOO seriously at times, but I'm just trying to stay on top of things.
Other than school, I've been having a lot of fun with pledging for ATD. We recently had our pledging social and it was a new experience for me. We had the annual "Big/Lil" revealing and it was really exciting. I'm happy to be in the process of initiation and I love that ATD is helping me to accomplish my goals of serving the community. We have the opportunity to do outside service for our service points and I chose to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity since it's something I've always wanted to do. I was placed at a site that helped to re-build a new roof for a WWII veteran and it was such a humbling experience. I went by myself, but a majority of the group was from a Baptist church. They were really nice and it made the day enjoyable for me, but it also made me miss Liwanag. Good thing Benefit Concert is coming up though :)
And lastly, I was invited to join my school's chapter of The National Society of Leadership and Success (NSLS) and I'm glad that a lot of my friends are in it with me. I feel like this is going to give me that extra motivation to do well. I need to stop thinking about failure and always believe that I can do this. I'm handling myself well and I know that in the end it will definitely pay off. Resting on positivity, perseverance, and prayer to help me get through <3
