"The strongest single factor in prosperity consciousness is self-esteem: believing you can do it, believing you deserve it, believing you will get it." - Jerry Gillies
I FINALLY built up enough courage to actually run for an Executive Board position as 'Commuter Representative' for ATD. I didn't even make this decision until 2 hours before we had to give speeches because I was super freaked out about talking in front of a bunch of people. I never felt that I was good at "elevator pitches," but there was just something inside me that didn't let me say, "No" to this opportunity. The more I said to myself, "I might not even win," the more I got angry with myself and the more it inspired me to just write what I felt and not give a f*ck about my insecurities. Yeah, I know I still may not get the position, but I'm so damn proud of myself for stepping up. I don't think I've been this proud of myself for the longest time and it feels amazing. And if it weren't for my running-mate Danielle, since there are 2 spots open for commuter reps, I don't think I would have gone through with it.
I actually prayed before school about running for this position and I feel like He was pushing me to because I found myself thinking about it the WHOLE day, even when I tried distracting myself. So I just knew I had to do this, for me and for Him, because I know I've been holding back from doing anything that would test my courage and strength. In all honesty, if I don't win, I still feel like this was God's way of telling me to "open my eyes" and to just BELIEVE that I am WORTHY, not just for being on E-board, but worthy of good things. So, win or lose, I still consider this a major milestone for me. I never thought I would be able to do what I accomplished last night. I thought I was going to be such a nervous wreck with a loss of words when it was my turn to speak, but surprisingly, I was really confident and I really hope people liked my speech. I got a few compliments afterward and it felt really good to hear :)
This was a great self-esteem booster and it gave me this positive energy that has lasted until today. The picture above was before me and my friends gave our speeches and I'm happy to say that I've finally unlocked my 'chains.' I told myself I was going to be more brave this year and I'm glad that I finally took a step towards that. It would be such a reward if I got this one and I'm gonna pray about it everyday until the revealing. But I know that if this is really for me, then it will happen. I'm still doing everything for His Greater Glory, but will be humble if it's not in His plan for me. There is no doubt that He was my strength last night and I feel like that's all I needed to feel and just that much is enough for me.
This life is not my own.
You gave Your life for me.
So I will live for You.
