"Plant your feet and stand firm. The only question is where to plant your feet." - Mary Todd Lincoln
It's scary knowing that I should be 'on my own' within the next few years. The thought of being a REAL adult and taking care of myself is scary. I think that this year is going to be filled with opportunity-taking and really doing things for me. If I'm going to be successful, I want to be able to think on my own and make my own decisions without feeling obligated to do something else because of other influences. I need to 'plant my feet' where I truly want to be. If that means having to do something completely different and new, then I will.
For the last few weeks, I feel that working as a Teacher for Destination Science has really been a challenge. And it's not just one thing, it's a whole lotta things combined. Its tested my organization and preparation skills, my team work skills, leadership skills, and my interaction/bonding technique with kids. Not gonna lie, it's a lot more work than I thought it was going to be. I got off to a rough start my first week. I was just overwhelmed and inexperienced. I honestly thought they made a mistake hiring me because I did terrible my first day. I'm the only person who isn't in the teaching field at work so I felt completely out of my comfort zone. I also have never been directly criticized so that was hard to take. But I just sucked it up and learned from my mistakes. Now I feel that I'm getting the hang of things and I don't feel nervous at all. I know what I'm doing and I'm more prepared and know more of what to expect. I feel like I'm able to be more of myself and it feels good knowing that I'm teaching these kids something new everyday. Even though I'm dead tired every afternoon when I come home, I still look forward to the next day. It also helps a lot to have a staff that supports you and does their best to help with your weak points.
I now see how fulfilling teaching can be as a profession. These last few weeks have been fun watching kids get excited about learning. I remember one of the questions during my interview was something like, "why would a person like you consider this job worthwhile when you are not planning to be a teacher in the future?" At that time, of course I was thinking what everyone else would say "THE MONEY! Duh." haha I know that's bad, but now I realize that I like working with kids and that after each day of work (even when it was a sucky day), I go home with a smile on my face because I know that I am making some kind of difference. The work that I put into preparing lessons is for the sole purpose of making knowledge come alive. When I hear a kid give a correct answer that I ask them about the material for that day, that's when I know that what I am doing is worth the time.
This is my way of giving back. I know this isn't what I had planned for this Summer, but this is where God put me. So I am going to do my best and try to make the most out of everything that happens while I work here. Everything is for His greater glory and not my own. Looking forward to a good year being one year older and figuring out what I want!
