"I believe in Jesus. That means I believe less and less in money, good looks, success, popularity and all the other stuff people say will bring you security and happiness. I believe less and less in my own ability to run my life. The more I believe in Him, the less I need anything else."
I want my existence to be focused on the the most simple joys of life and not the extravagant things. I consider myself a simple person and I don't like to ask for much. I'm okay with what I have. I don't go shopping as much as I used to. I don't go out as much as I did. I would honestly choose a 'night in' rather than a 'night out.' What I've come to enjoy with my friends now is just some real conversation. We don't HAVE to go out to have fun and I think that's an important change I've made. We make fun of ourselves for it because it's harder to stay up late like we used to, but the whole clubbing scene is in the back of my mind now. It doesn't satisfy me as much as it used to.
What I want now is to explore. Once I graduate from nursing school, I want to be able to travel the world and experience new cultures. I want to do charity work in other countries. I want to use my career as an opportunity to make my mark on this world. If I just stay at a few hospitals in the U.S. over the course of my life I would be pretty disappointed in myself. I feel that I've been given this career path to really reach out and help. Of course, there's nothing wrong with being a hospital nurse, they obviously are important too! But I'd be interested in trying out something with public health or bringing change to underdeveloped countries. I don't know how soon I'd be able to to this, but I'm determined to have it happen someday.
When I see how much people complain about the most trivial things when their life isn't even CLOSE to being 'bad,' it just gives me that urge to not become like them. I don't need all of this 'stuff.' We've become accustomed to be dependent on all things materialistic that we don't even want to do things for ourselves anymore. I'm probably one of the few who doesn't have a smart phone out of all my friends and I've never really pushed my parents to buy me one either. I'm not trying to bash those who do, but what I've noticed is how much time is taken away from conversation when someone has their phone in front of them. How people prioritize checking their emails or facebook over really paying attention to what their family member, friend, or significant other may be trying telling them.
I'm all for technology, but not at the expense of losing our sense of being connected on a personal level, because being connected by the web is entirely different. What's sad to me is when I see couples at restaurants who don't even talk to eachother during their dinner and just scroll through their phones in silence instead. I know I'm not in a relationship, but if I was, I'd want to spend time with my boyfriend, not my boyfriend and his phone.
I know this is a random babbling, but I guess what I'm trying to say is, what I want & need is to feel fulfilled with my life and the change that I can make in this world. I don't want to be side-tracked by the little things that I don't really need in my life. I'm not saying I won't ever get a smart phone or that I'm going to call someone out if they aren't giving me their full attention. I guess I'm just more old-school. I appreciate hand-written letters and phone calls over texts. I prefer paper books over electronic books/devices. I'm not materialistic.
When my parents sold my BMW I was sort of relieved. I used to think of myself as being better when I drove that car and that was so foolish of me. What that car gave me was less money to be used on other things, stress, and hassle. It didn't really make me happy. And I think that same thing can happen for the other things we can buy. But the intangible things are what I want to live for. My perspective for the rest of the year is to keep it simple and seek happiness from the little things. I won't let myself measure my worth by the things that I buy, but the dreams that God puts in my heart and helps me to achieve.
