I'm ready to dip my feet in the water. I want to be back in the classroom, learn new things, look into volunteer/internship opportunities, check out clubs, meet new people. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely enjoying my summer, but I have to admit I'm starting to get antsy.
Orientation is a week from today and I can't wait to finally see the whole campus and meet with my academic advisor to plan my fall schedule. I wonder how different it's going to be from UCI...just the whole atmosphere. I think it's going to take some time to adjust, but nonetheless I'm ready to just GO! If move-in day was tomorrow, I'd be pretty excited!
The thing about starting over, I know it's really cliche, is that no one knows who you are. And that can be a good and/or bad thing. Usually when people first meet me they get the wrong impression of who I really am. I'm not the type of person that's easy to read and if you know me I think you know what I'm talking about. It takes awhile to see the real me...so I just hope that I don't have a difficult time clicking with people. But ever since I started college I feel I've gotten better at the whole "being social" thing, so hopefully that works to my advantage.
I just don't want to feel lonely again. I spent a lot of time alone my first year and I hated that. Maybe this time it will be different or atleast I pray that it will be. I hope to find a group of friends who just get me and understand me the way that my friends do now. I'd consider myself lucky if that happens...I guess I just have to wait and see what's in store for me!
But other things that have been on my mind lately are all the things I'm going to be missing out on. I really wanted to be in MOTP choir this time around. I'm still hung up on turning down Core. I won't get to be a family leader again this year. I thought I had a chance of being on music min. I wanted to become active in PASS instead of Kaba. I had a part time job offer at fashion island. I had to give up my volunteer offer at Kaiser. And it may not seem like much, but that's a lot to be giving up if you ask me.
Everything has been moving so fast lately and when I thought about all these things it just made me sad. Third year is supposed to be THE BEST year. Or at least I think so and it could have been great if I had all those things. I could've been EXACTLY where I wanted to be if only I had been accepted into the nursing program at UCI. It's funny to see how that small detail changed EVERYTHING, but I'm trying my best to be strong right now, I really am. It's going to be heartbreaking when I finally move out of Irvine. Moving out of my apartment won't be a problem because my REAL home has been Interfaith for these last 2 years. So I think that leaving Interfaith & Liwanag is going to be the real tear-jerker...
In one month from today, I would have already completed my first day of classes at MSMC and I wonder if I'll be having crazy UCI withdrawals. I guess that means I just have to write back here when I find out.
