All my life, I've tried
To make everybody happy while I just hurt & hide
Waiting for someone to tell me it's my turn...
To decide - Sara B.
When Ktyn gave me my 'vision tree' I was hesitant to write down my goals because I wasn't sure if I could successfully accomplish them. Even just writing the two things in the picture above (Get into the nursing program, Make the Dean's List) seemed so out of reach for me back in January, but now they're not just my goals, they're my reality.
I remember she told me that my goals were at the top branch because they would be the hardest to reach. She was definitely right about that! I haven't put so much dedication into school as much as Spring semester, and it paid off. I guess just knowing that those two things were written down somewhere gave me an extra push to try harder. But more importantly, everytime I looked at my 'vision tree,' I was reminded that someone believed in me even when I didn't. I usually try to do things for the sake of other people, but this time around I did it for ME. And that was one of the best feelings ever :)
During today's homily at mass, Monsignor Kirk talked about how many people come up short when it comes to describing who God is. He said some people think God is a policeman, just wanting to catch you when you do something wrong. Others think He is a judge, just waiting to condemn them. And lastly, that people think of God as a genie with the sole purpose of providing for their every need. But he's not just one-sided. He's beyond what we can even imagine and He's so GREAT and loving because of the blessed trinity. I liked how he said that when we pray we usually only pray to one aspect and I can definitely relate to that. He also said that the blessed trinity is not a puzzle for us to solve, but a mystery to be celebrated. I think that was the best part of his homily because we spend so much time asking questions. All we need is to relate to Him and choose to be IN relationship with God. It's this decision that allows us to see just how great God is, all three persons in one.
There's no questioning that God helped me to accomplish my goals and will continue to help me no matter what. I think that pain gets in the way of seeing all of Him sometimes and it gets difficult, but all I have to do is remember the immensity of His greatness & love. And from there, let my faith continue to grow day by day. Simple as that.
