“Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.” — Arnold Bennett
My change for the better was FINALLY getting into the nursing program. My current discomfort? Knowing that I only have one more year remaining until 2012 graduates. It's hard enough being only 1 hour away and only seeing them once or twice every 3 months, but soon we're all going to be on separate paths...then who know's when I'll get to see them again. I already know that my schedule for Fall is going to be hectic with classes starting earlier, ending later, clinicals, and whatever time I'll have in between to do hw/study/sleep. I'm just PRAYING that I can spend as much time as possible with Liwanag during my "4th" year of college because after my friends graduate, I won't be able to just drive down to Irvine out of nostalgia and crash on whoever's couch just so I can spend time with everyone for a weekend. I'm going to be on 'my own' soon.
With any friendship comes sacrifice though. So I'm gonna have to 'find time' to balance everything. I'm just still fighting the whole 'growing up' situation because I'm really not good with change. I wish this Summer was like last year's: hanging out in Irvine, playing mahjong everynight, drinking, eating whatever the hell I wanted at any hour of the day, chillin' at the beach. That was probably the best Summer of my life. And now, I have all these little things I'm worrying about.
I feel like my 'Senior Year' in college SHOULD be the best one and I guess the drawback is that it's not going to be what I WANT it to be. But at the end of the day, I know that God blessed me with amazing friends and that they're always going to be number one on my list. One of my favorite One Tree Hill sayings is, "When all your dreams come true, who do you want standing next to you?" And for me, it's my LOG family. I told my Co the news about having to leave UCI and even when I got into the nursing program before I told my own parents. Is that kind of crazy? To share life-changing news with friends before family? I don't think so. Because my parents don't SEE or HEAR the struggles that I go through. We don't have that kind of open relationship, which sucks, but that's just how it is.
So even though I may be late on the 'graduating train' or starting my own career, I'm still going to want the same people there because they've been a huge part of my journey and I've realized that I want to be able to celebrate with them every step of this thing called life. One thing I learned in my F&H development class is that celebrating is saying "YES" to life despite all of its tragedies. And I choose to say "YES," even if waiting for graduation takes an extra few years. I don't wanna have to hide out of embarassment, that was the old me. The truth is, I'm gonna need all the support I can get these next few years in the program and thankfully God gave me THE BEST support system I could ever ask for. It's the little things that matter, just go with it!
