Last week I let my emotions get to me. I was starting to get really frustrated with everything that I had to get done and I was too focused on school. Knowing me, I try to be a perfectionist, I like being organized and getting things done on time. But when I let myself lag, that means I have to cram and I hate doing that. Then I get mad at myself for not getting things done earlier and then just become so overwhelmed.
So yes, I did put this unnecessary stress on myself I guess, but I think it just got worse when my speech partner didn't show up to class on Thursday when we were supposed to collaborate our ideas and start putting together our presentation for next week. She was the only one who didn't come to class, so I was pretty much just sitting there not able to get any work done since she wasn't there and that was horrible. Inside I was fuming with anger because that just really put that cherry on top of my stress. After class I just sat in the corner of the library and cried for a good couple minutes but it wasn't because I was sad, it was like my anger and frustration were slowly being released. I got so caught up in everything and I wasn't letting myself breathe.
But thankfully two of my friends came down to L.A. that same day and invited me to go along with them to Santa Monica Place and eat at the Nom Nom truck and Diddy Riese. That was something that I really needed. Just being out for a couple of hours really boosted my mood. I told myself to just let everything go and to have some fun for that night. I didn't want to be thinking about school, exams, presentations or anything. That's when I realized that I haven't been giving myself a break. I'm always cooped up in my apartment studying and doing homework that the only time I leave is to go to campus for class or to attend review sessions. I noticed after that night out I slept better and I was able to focus more in class the next day. So I need to allow myself to have some fun once in awhile or else I'm going to get sucked into the "school is above everything" mentality. Yes, in a sense this is true, but there is room for other things too.
Just breathe.
