It's 2am and I'm still awake. I don't know why, but lately I've had a hard time sleeping. Well, I guess that's not completely true because I DO know why. I only have about a little over a month here in Irvine before I move my life out to L.A. and that's going to be a BIG change. And every time I go to sleep, that's one day less that I have here. So I find myself wanting to wake up early the next day so that I don't waste any potential time that I have to spend with my friends. Summer has been great thus far and I'm loving every single minute of it :]
But I can't help but wonder at times, or just think about HOW LUCKY I am to have been given a second chance by MSMC. I seriously thought that my academic performance at UCI screwed my chances of being admitted again, but somehow it happened. And as much as I hate that I'm leaving Irvine, I am SO GLAD to know that now my life has a sense of direction, that nursing is really what I'm going to pursue.
I wonder how different my life would have been if I had just gone straight to MSMC in the first place. But then again I am a strong believer of "everything happens for a reason," so God must've led me to UCI for a good reason right? These past two years haven't been for nothin'. My experience here has been quite the journey, I must say. But through it all, I was able to truly find myself and I think that He helped me to do that through Liwanag.
And from there I learned how to be stronger, how to have more faith in myself, and to believe in the things that I couldn't see...to just have HOPE. I made a fair share of mistakes and came up short more times than I had hoped for, but somehow I ended up here...being accepted into one of the best schools for nursing. At first I saw this as some sort of punishment for not going to MSMC in the first place but now when I look at the big picture, I'd be foolish to not see just how much of a blessing this really is.
I think that my two years at UCI were just what I needed to realize what I had to do for myself and my future. God introduced me to the light of Liwanag, to a family that gave me sooo much guidance and I just KNOW that in my heart I would not have been able to summon up the courage to have made the decision to leave without them. Starting over is definitely scary, but I know that everything is going to be okay, even though it may be hard to believe at some times.
I'm glad that I have an amazing group of friends in Irvine, but it hurts to know that I'm not going to be around as much. Just those random hangouts in the middle of the week, taking study breaks and talking about the most stupid, but funniest things. I really don't wanna miss out on anything...that's what gets me the most about this whole situation. So I will try my best to keep that connection with them without having to give up trying to build another circle of friends in LA. I definitely don't want my love for LOG to hinder my experience at MSMC...I guess I just have to try to have the best of both worlds. I know this isn't going to be an easy transition, but I just always have to remember that this is a second chance, and second chances don't come around often.
